Someone, in our group gathering tonight, described today in simple terms: "I don't know how much I don't know...and that's screwed". This realization, this fear, is so true. We know the stories of violence, of lies and hatred towards the Jewish race, but we don't know so much more than what we do.
I didn't sleep well last night: I was anxious and nervous. How would I react to visiting these places of horror? I tried to eliminate any and all expectations, so I could experience the camps to the best of my ability, take in as much as I could - emotionally, intellectually and physically being in that place.
I still have no words. I can't believe. I have to, but I can't believe that members of the ONLY race - the human race - could commit such crimes on each other, inflict such pain on another; a fellow brother or sister. I will never understand and the beginning of trying to is hard. There is no way to understand, to feel, to comprehend. All I know is that it was all very real, it still is in our minds, and I must act. I must try and tell you about it, and try and stop further genocides. The deep sadness, the pain and the sorrow I felt overcame me as I broke down. Shoes. Hair. Nothing remains but tears, memories, stories, and the imagination. And if it hurts that much just being in this place, with the presence of spirits? Oh, I hope a human must never understand or feel such a Holocaust, again.
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| Main gate into Auschwitz: "Arbeit Mact Frei", translating to "Works Makes you Free". |
"That March [to Birkenau] encompasses all that I experienced and felt throughout the journey ... No one spoke a word, but it was not silence that I heard. It was the tramp of our feet on this journey of remembrance, the sound of our determination to never let the same horror happen agin. And it was then that I realized that even a small walk like ours was a step in our efforts to change the world." - Natasha Mansoor, MRH 2010.
I couldn't agree more. Wearing the MRH shirt with Yehuda Bauer's quote about not being a bystander gave me such a sense of empowerment. I was making a change. I marched through the Gates with my head held high, with Philip Riteman in mind, with Faigie, with Pinchas, honouring every survivor, and every soul that did not make it. And I acknowledged the other tour groups and lone tourists that smiled and nodded at us. Whether they spoke our language or not; whether they understood our March and our purpose or not is to be debated, but they knew it was for good. And that we care, we will love, we will not repeat history. Never Again.
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| Taking comfort in one another as we March to Birkenau. |
It was a beautiful sunny day today, an odd feeling as we walked the cobble stone paths and dirt roads between barracks and sites of horror, death and danger. It wasn't the expected aura, or the preferred. I am grateful it did not pour rain, but the clear blue sky, the fresh new green grass and the songs of sweet birds offered the area as beautiful, something that through it's gates, it is not.
I was amazed at the sheer scale and precision of these camps. Auschwitz, full of exhibits, artifacts, and findings at the camp upon liberation, showed the extreme caution the Nazi's took in not only how they convinced, tricked, and lied to the Jews but Birkenau displayed the organization of the Nazi regime and the camps through the size, scale and layout of the camp. I can't imagine this place as it was not that many years ago; a housing ground for humans, treated as animals. A cage that one is ever released from.
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| Tracks leading out of Birkenau. The famous entrance off in the distance, displaying the size of the camp. |
The hate of Hitler, Himmler, and the remainder of the SS squads and the Nazi soldiers sustained throughout the camp. Yet I'll still never understand. No matter how many times I repeat that single line. It just becomes true even more so.
As Faigie shared her story of how she (miraculously) stayed with her mother throughout the camps, and how she survived Birkenau, she told us she was passing on the torch - that we are now empowered, and we are experts in our own stories. We have heard their stories, we have witnessed and visited these sites, and we now have a duty to share this, to work towards more people being in our shoes, experiencing, seeing. Faigie's story touched my heart and gave me such strength, and sense of power to overcome any obstacles in my own life with a little help from family and friends, but really gave me an overwhelming surge of strength as I have a purpose, a story to tell, and a witness account and reason to do so.
Disclaimer: This evening we went to a wonderful little restaurant in Old Town Krakow for a delicious, and traditional, Polish meal. Following dinner was exploring the Krakow nightlife and cellar bars. While there are many stories from this part of the day, I am feeling emotionally drained after "revisiting" Auschwitz through this post. These photos and stories are for another day.
Disclaimer 2: I will also be setting up a Flickr account and posting all of my photos there for your viewing. When I have this up and running, I will let you know via this blog. I have, however, spared you of photos of the exhibits in this blog. These photos will be on my Flickr page, giving you the option to quickly pass these by, if you wish. Viewer discretion is advised. The dehumanization that went on is just unreal, unimaginable, and so heartbreaking.
In closing, I pass on another interesting site to you. This project, a beautiful idea for a beautiful woman and very strong survivor, is being passed around through my MRH Facebook friends right now.
"Human beings are made up of two things: spirit, and the instinct to survive." - Pinchas Gutter.
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