"I am speaking for millions who cannot speak"

And I hope I can do the same. I take that quote from this website, from a presentation by Philip Riteman.

As you can see from the site, Riteman is a Holocaust survivor now living in Halifax. I'm hoping to reach Riteman and have a bit of an "interview" with him, to better understand the atrocities that happened at Auschwitz, Birkneau and Dachau, as well as the importance of programs such as MRH and Holocaust education in general.

Speaking of which, my most recent webinar has assigned each student a bit of a research project. Throughout the March, we are asked to do so in memory of someone; a victim, someone righteous among the nations, etc., and we will have the opportunity to each present a brief blurb of their story. I feel this would be best done if I chose someone I can somehow, sort of, relate to. As much as people like Anne Frank or Schindler are important, and in no way am I undervaluing their lives and efforts, I'd like to research someone that's a bit of an "average Joe", someone I can try to relate to, someone who doesn't have much recognition to date. Riteman's story, of surviving a shot, a trench of other bodies, and escaping is one that amazes me: what was going through his mind at the time? Where there others that had yet to leave this world, but were buried alive in these trenches? The above link is not for the faint at heart; there are some graphic details, which both shocked and moved me...I'm looking forward to this research, or memoir, project, if you will, and I'll keep you posted. Please note that I have heard from my mother's friend that he was shot, and in the trench/ditch. This has yet to be confirmed as a true story, and is currently just hear-say.

This evening's webinar focused on Auschwitz, what to expect, and what reactions we'll feel. Dr. Robert Jan Van Pelt reassured us that we shouldn't be disappointed if we don't feel anything. It will be an emotionally draining experience, I feel, and I do worry that I'll sort of don a blank face, as if stunned. I do, however, feel a bit better and my nerves are calmed a bit after hearing Dr. Jan Van Pelt speak.

I was pleased to hear Dr. Jan Van Pelt "prescribe" 5-10 minutes of alone time after visiting Auschwitz and Birkneau. I feel this will be a journey for myself, as well as the millions who cannot speak, as Riteman said. I know I will grow as a person and learn from the other people on the trip with me, but, to some extent, I can see myself needing to grapple with these feelings, lessons and ideas on a personal level. I guess with this comes the understanding that both of these sites, all of the sites we will be visiting, are working tourist sites/attractions. Of course I knew this, but never really thought of this before...that there may be hundreds of other people visiting the day(s) we are there.

To some extent, this pleases me. That there are others paying respect to the millions who perished during the war, that there are others that care and hope to change the world for the better...but, like any landscape or attraction, I worry that the masses of traffic through these sites will harm them. As Dr. Jan Van Pelt expressed, in a few years, the last of the survivors will be gone, and it will be our generation that is responsible for carrying on these stories and teachings. What happens when Auschwitz is run down, and perishes, too? When it is no more authentic, but needing reconstruction?

I say this based on what I have heard and read from others that have been there. But, will the smell of flesh remain in the areas of the crematoriums? Will there be that feeling of presence?

I suppose this is the issue all historical attractions and commemoration sites deal with, and it is one that no one can answer, sadly.

My trip is only 44 days away, and I'm starting to get excited - if I can use that word under the circumstances - as well as nervous. I hope starting this research project, and furthering my knowledge through films and readings will help with this. Dr. Jan Van Pelt did aid in the sense that I now realize that any reaction is an okay reaction. I am not Jewish, I cannot relate to the First Nations of Canada who have gone through a sort of discrimination and genocide, nor the Rwandans, nor am I overly knowledgeable on the subject matter of the Holocaust. I am simply interested, and compassionate for the human race, and hope that my travels and journey in Poland will mean something to someone else; that I can reach out in some way to educate another, to make someone, somewhere, think before calling another a name or using "hate" against a person.

"We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same" - Anne Frank